Unsent Letter to my Clients

Posted on: 04 Oct 2018

I want to let you know how I really feel about you. In my training I learnt to always consider what impact my words could have on a client. Are they therapeutic? Are they helpful? Therapy is often uncomfortable, exploring things that might have been actively avoided for a lifetime. A client shouldn’t come in only to get praise from their therapist, feeling their ego and confidence boosted as they leave, to then go back to the “real world” and wonder why they can’t get the same positive feelings as they do in therapy.

So whilst I don’t hold back ALL the positive thoughts I have about my clients (positive feedback is absolutely important), I don’t go on about it.

But here is it. Every day, you fill me with such humility and gratitude. I so admire your courage when you dare to look at yourself fully, sharing what you wish wasn’t there. I admire your strength in continuing to move forward with hope that things will get better, with your willingness to work to make it better. I love your humour with which you can soften the blows of your own self-criticism. It’s so important. 

You are a lot more beautiful than you think. Your honesty and vulnerably makes you look better than any new shirt/dress or jacket could. 

I want to tell you that your self-critical mind makes you a better person, but that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. To see your flaws not with judgement but with acceptance of the human condition. And to know that everyone around you share this in their own problems, underneath the well-kept together surface. There is nothing wrong with you. 

When I leave work I feel privileged to have spent my day in such a meaningful way – to have searched for meaning, acceptance, forgiveness, strength, love. Every day I am reminded of how beautiful this life is. In all its imperfections and suffering, there is goodness, kindness, selflessness, creativity and so much hope. 

I look forward to our next session.